You CAN be Smart with Your Money: 3 Steps to Breaking Generational Money Patterns
If you grew up with a family history of money mistakes, you might not see any way to avoid repeating them. As a child, bad money habits played out in front of you daily, like scenes from the movie Groundhog Day.
How could you be the one who finally breaks free?
No matter how strong the chains to those habits feel, I want you to know you are NOT destined to repeat them. There is another way.
A Brief Personal Story
I remember, in my early 30s, sitting down with a friend who was concerned about my financial struggles. As she meticulously added each amount I read from my billing statements, I felt increasingly anxious and ashamed.
At the end, she gently touched my hand, looked at me with kind eyes, and said, “Every month you are going $800 deeper into debt.” I knew it was bad, but I was in complete denial about the reality of the situation. It was painful to learn the truth, but that was ultimately the first step to getting free.
Where did your money habits come from?
I remember having this general pervasive worry about not having enough, whether that was because my brother got a bigger bowl of ice cream after dinner or that I had asked for a specific Christmas gift that I didn’t receive.
I carried a belief that I was missing out on good things others had, that I’d been forgotten or worse, intentionally ignored. Those thoughts have proven to be a battleground for my mind even into adulthood.
The voice you listen to matters.
I say it’s a battleground for the mind because your thoughts shape your feelings, and your feelings shape your actions. And actions are often where problems become most obvious.
In my case, the thought “I don’t have enough” turned into feeling forgotten which led to me, as an adult, buying whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted it. You’ve already heard about the troubles that followed.
Whose voice are you listening to?
It’s a question you have to ask. Specifically, what is the nature of the voice in your head when it comes to money matters? Is it condemning? A voice of defeat? Or a voice of hope, victory, and freedom?
If you’ve ever thought: “I’ll never be any good at managing money,” or “It’s too difficult to save,” that’s the voice of defeat.
If you’ve ever looked at your mounting credit card balances and thought: “I’ll never get out of debt,” that’s the voice of condemnation.
If condemnation or defeat is the voice you hear, the result can be feelings of shame, fear, or wanting to hide—all of which result in poor follow-up choices.
Choose a new voice to listen to when it comes to your finances:
- Books About Faith and Money
- Faith and Money Devotionals on the Bible App
- Subscribe to the Agape Investing YouTube channel
3 Steps to Breaking Generational Money Patterns
If you can change your thinking, it can impact your feelings and the resulting actions. Mindset work is all the rage right now, but without the power of God’s Word this strategy eventually comes up empty. Instead, approach the change you desire from the perspective of Scripture.
The Bible is full of wisdom about how to manage our thoughts: Take them captive (2 Corinthians 10:5); think on whatever is true, noble, right, pure and lovely (Philippians 4:8); be transformed by the renewing of your mind (Romans 12:2); and the list goes on.
When we begin with the truth of God’s Word, we can make gospel-informed adjustments to our thoughts and those choices can produce real transformation.
Step 1 – Admit You Have a Problem
As I learned from sitting with my friend, you can’t solve a problem you haven’t acknowledged, so start by admitting it. If you’ve been listening to the voice of condemnation (aka the enemy) and giving him power in your life, confess it. I suggest doing so out loud with a trusted mentor, leader, or friend.
It can be painful to say you’ve been believing lies, feeling shame or a desire to hide, or even acting out by overspending to feel better (or whatever yours is). But don’t skip this step. It’s time to admit that you have financial struggles, and to tell someone!
Say what’s true, and ask your friend to pray for your transformation. (Yes! It is okay to pray over your finances! God wants us to bring all of ourselves to Him)
Step 2 – Believe That God is the Solution
The second step is believing God is the source of all help and hope.
The world suggests that the power to change is within you. But when you attempt change on your own strength and success evades you, the result is even more despair and shame.
God has a different way!
The power to change your broken thinking already exists in your relationship with Jesus. He died for your sins (past, present, and future), even your broken thoughts, so you could live the abundant life he promised.
Because of Christ, you have the power of the Holy Spirit to change how you live, which begins with changing how you think. The Spirit can transform your life from one marked by generational money mistakes to one of rejoicing because of a renewed mind, a focus on truth, and confidence that he can and will make all things new—even you, and even your financial situation!
Step 3 – Choose to Live in a New Reality
The worldly answer to your money woes is to work hard, spend less, and save more. But if you have a history of listening to a voice of condemnation when it comes to money, it’s never that easy.
Instead, the spiritual answer is to turn your life and finances over to God’s care and choose to live in a new reality. Release your desire to control, surrender everything to God, and ask what he wants to change about you and your money story.
It will be the most humbling and challenging decision you will make on this journey. But it’s the only one that holds true hope!
Conclusion
Money on its own is neither good nor bad, but how you think about money can be its own prison for your mind and heart.
The good news is that the gospel frees us from any prison in which we find ourselves captive. Believing God’s truth over the voice of condemnation—regardless of your history, your family, or your current financial state—is the key to unlocking that prison door.
Author – Merritt Onsa
Merritt Onsa is host of The Devoted Dreamers Podcast and a Dream Coach for creative Christian women who are ready to stop playing small, step into their gifting, and finally get moving on a passion project. Merritt loves tapping into the power of God’s Word to get over mindset barriers, and to help you do that, too, you can grab her free Guided Scripture Reading Plan to launch you on the path to freedom from imposter syndrome, here: https://merrittonsa.com/agapeinvesting
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